Conversations with the brain
me
A session gets cancelled. Brain, why are you sounding the alarm?
ASD
I can’t continue. We’ve lost the structure.
ADHD
I can’t continue. I don’t remember the point.
me
So you both want to quit?
ASD
No. I want to get the structure back.
ADHD
No. I want to get the point back.
me
Ah. So that’s not the same thing after all.
brain
Good. Before we shut down the whole project, let’s check what is missing.
me
Meaning?
brain
ASD, what do you need?
ASD
A plan. A rhythm. Reference points.
brain
ADHD, and you?
ADHD
To remember why we are doing this and what follows from it.
brain
So we do not have a decision to quit.
ASD
No.
ADHD
No.
brain
We have a continuity failure.
me
Okay. So what do we do? Practical suggestions, please.
ASD
Restore structure.
ADHD
Restore purpose.
me
Thank you very much for that useless description of the problem. Any other brilliant ideas?
brain
I have one.
me
I’m listening.
brain
We modify the process.
ASD
Finally, someone’s speaking human.
ADHD
Oh, that sounds better than “try harder”.
me
Specifically?
brain
For ASD, we restore structure.
ASD
Session plan.
A consistent rhythm.
Reference points.
Summary every 5 sessions.
me
But those summaries didn’t add anything new.
ASD
They were not supposed to add anything new.
ADHD
Oh!
ASD
Their function wasn’t to add content.
Their function was to maintain continuity.
me
Meaning?
ASD
Session 1 → session 2 → session 3 → session 4 → session 5 → summary.
Even if one session got cancelled, I still knew where I was.
ADHD
Actually, yes.
brain
And for ADHD, we restore purpose.
ADHD
So every now and then we remind ourselves why we are even here.
Because I forget really quickly why we started this project in the first place.
Then I only see another session, another task, and another conversation.
me
So the summary worked for you too?
ADHD
Yes.
Because it reminded me why we are doing this.
me
So we are not fixing the person?
ASD
No.
ADHD
No.
brain
We modify the process.
me
And the alarm?
brain
The alarm does not mean “I want to quit”.
ASD
For me, it usually means: “I’ve lost the structure”.
ADHD
And for me: “I’ve lost the point”.
me
And all this time I thought it was about therapy.
brain
No.
ASD
It was about continuity.
ADHD
And remembering the point.
me
So the next time I hear “we’re quitting” in my head?
brain
First check whether it is a decision.
ASD
Or whether I’ve just lost the structure.
ADHD
Or lost sight of the point.
me
And if I get the structure back, remember the point, and still want to leave?
brain
Then it will be a decision.
ASD
And not an alarm.
ADHD
Because an alarm is not a decision.
me
Oh.
brain
That’s exactly why you don’t shut down the whole project just because a warning light comes on.
Comment
This is not a universal model of ASD and ADHD, but an illustration of one possible mechanism. Sometimes “I want to quit” reflects a decision. Sometimes it is a signal that the process has lost its structure, continuity, or sense of purpose.