me
Hey, Brain. What if we went to therapy? Maybe it would help us get our act together... a little more consciously.
brain
Therapy? What, do you want to restart me? I work perfectly well — just in a premium version: chaotic, but with character!
me
It's not about fixing anything. It's about support. I'd like to find a therapist who understands neurodivergence.
brain
Ahhh, so someone who won't try to turn me into a 'standard user model'? Interesting... Are we talking about that version of therapy where you have to sit stiffly and answer in full sentences, or something a little more... compatible?
me
All right, Brain, what would you want from therapy? What does it need to have so you don't start rebelling?
brain
Give me a must-have list! We'll see what won't throw me into an error or force a restart.
Must-Have Checklist for Compatible Therapy
Model of work and the therapist’s position
me
Freestyle or pole choreography? (creativity vs. routine)
brain
Freestyle! Frames are for paintings, not neurons.
me
A therapist as artist or photocopier? (flexibility vs. thoughtlessness)
brain
Definitely an artist. A photocopier once tried to understand me... and jammed.
me
Repair service or support with empathy? (diagnosis and correction vs. relationship-building)
brain
Empathy! I already have diagnoses and corrections. Now I'd like someone who won't treat me like a broken blender under warranty.
me
Social acceptance or warranty service for neurons? (social model vs. medical model of disability)
brain
Acceptance! I'm not here for a reset — I'm a beta version with no intention of becoming final.
me
Empathy with a social modem, or operating in 'don't know, can't see, doesn't apply' mode? (awareness of social barriers vs. ignoring context)
brain
Empathy with a modem! Otherwise it's like trying to play an RPG without understanding who your character is or what world they live in.
me
A shared journey, or riding in the back seat while the therapist takes the wheel? (partnership vs. hierarchy in therapy)
brain
Partnership! I'm the one sitting in this vehicle all the time — let the therapist help with the map, not take over the steering wheel.
Discovery vs. censorship
me
Discovering your own plot, or censoring symptoms in the final cut? (understanding symptoms vs. reducing them)
brain
Definitely discovering the plot! Symptoms aren't errors — they're trailers telling you that something important is happening inside me.
me
Behavior: a message in a bottle, or something skipped without reading? (behavior as communication vs. unwanted symptom)
brain
A message. My behavior doesn't appear for no reason — it's a bottle carrying information, not a random object drifting by.
Accessibility and communication
Contact, pace, and processing style
me
Online form or an analog interface with noise in the background? (online accessibility vs. excluding forms of contact)
brain
Online! I have no compatibility with voice calls — text only, zero emotional lag.
me
'Slow processing' mode with a pause button, or racing through the session on a timer? (space for processing vs. time pressure)
brain
Longer sessions! My emotion-loading system has a progress bar, not a turbo button.
me
A picture, a note, a mind map — or endless talking with no support? (visual materials vs. talking only)
brain
Visual support, please! My auditory memory is like a browser with fifty open tabs — one graphic is like pinning a bookmark.
me
Your waves, or just one broadcast channel? (adapted communication vs. rigid format)
brain
If you speak only one language, you won't hear mine. And I have text mode, visual mode, silence... and sometimes memes.
Inner world and lived experience
Masking, burnout, and the cost of functioning
me
Autistic burnout as a distinct state, or thrown into the 'depression.zip' folder? (distinguishing autistic burnout from depression)
brain
It's not 'sadness' — it's a system in emergency mode. Autistic burnout is not a temporary drop in mood, but a total system overload. Don't confuse a restart with a freeze — this is not a case of 'rest and you'll be back to normal.'
me
Freely being yourself, or daily cosplay as a neurotypical citizen? (authenticity vs. masking)
brain
Authenticity, please! Pretending to be 'normal' is like playing a game on the highest difficulty setting — with no breaks and no save option.
me
Sensory-system overload, or just logging thoughts and emotions? (working with body and senses vs. pure cognition)
brain
I need the full picture! Sometimes the problem isn't thoughts at all, but the fact that a clothing tag is pushing me to the edge of endurance.
me
Through the prism of neurodivergence, or through the filter of 'that's how everyone does it'? (neurodivergent perspective vs. neurotypical norms)
brain
I need someone who sees the world from my perspective — not through the lens of 'normal,' which smooths everything over until what actually matters disappears.
me
Avoiding noise, or 'panic for no reason'? (sensory reaction vs. anxiety)
brain
Not everything that looks like anxiety actually is. Sometimes it's just my way of surviving without overheating the whole system.
Sensory load, executive functioning, and everyday viability
me
Support with planning and executive chaos, or the expectation that I'll sort myself out 'because that's what you're supposed to do'? (executive support vs. demanding independence)
brain
Help is welcome! My executive functions do not always work on schedule — without support it's like putting together a puzzle in the dark. And yes, Monday got lost again.
Therapy process and relationship
After the session, transparency, and relational safety
me
Homework as a personalized quest, or total logout after the session? (tailored tasks vs. lack of integration between sessions)
brain
Give me tasks, but not on 'hardcore mode.' Something short, specific — and ideally with a checkpoint and a reward at the end.
me
Transparency like an open window, or therapy behind tinted glass? (therapist transparency vs. lack of clarity and information)
brain
Transparency, please! How am I supposed to trust you if I don't know what's happening on the other side of the desk? This isn't a psychological thriller — it's supposed to be collaboration.
me
Actions that respect the system's history, or a factory reset? (taking earlier wounds into account vs. minimizing history)
brain
My previous experiences matter. If you ignore them, it's like updating a system without checking the error logs first.
me
Asking about pronouns, or playing 'guess who I am'? (respecting identity vs. assumptions)
brain
This isn't a quiz. The question costs nothing, but it may make me feel genuinely seen.
me
Looking in the mirror, or hiding behind a curtain of infallibility? (therapist honesty vs. avoiding mistakes)
brain
Honesty! No one is perfect, but honesty is like a security update — it protects the relationship from freezing.
Language, adaptation, and up-to-date knowledge
me
Plain language, or 'hard mode: psychoterminology'? (understandable language vs. specialist jargon)
brain
Less Latin, more meaning. My processor works better without having to decode every conversation like a logic puzzle.
me
Individual settings, or 'one format for everyone'? (adaptation to information-processing style)
brain
I'm not a .doc file — my data has to be read in a mode compatible with the autistic extension.
me
Learning as you go, or 'I finished my degree, that's enough'? (updating knowledge vs. stagnation)
brain
If you've been offline for ten years, don't be surprised that your approach no longer works on my system.
Conclusion
brain
See? Now this is a real conversation. Now I know what I want — and what I definitely don't.
me
So... ready?
brain
Ready! But remember — no photocopiers, no pole choreography, and no therapy straight out of the 1990s. We're looking for someone who understands my API, respects my wavelengths, and doesn't try to update me without consent.
me
Okay, I'm packing bookmarks, the checklist, and memes — let's go find a therapist who speaks brain. This brain.
brain
And one who knows that I speak in images, silence, hope... and sometimes sarcasm.
[End of episode — or maybe just the beginning?]